Monday, 2 August 2010
{ 16:55 }
Been trying hard for so long. Now than i get to know love is always being so hard and i am really a big failure towards it..
3yrs5mths, now than i realise all my problems towards you are kind of complaining towards this relationship..
You say u are sick of this relationship.. I am depress towards this instead.,
You have so much doubts towards me but u always refuse to tell me.. Once we start to fight over such matter there u pull them out..
Boy, do you know how hurt is that?
Being your partner yet dunno what u are thinking and running in your mind..
I admit that i am in a wrong, so do u?
Boy, things take 2 hands to clap..
forget it..
I need 安全感, but u din even gave me..
I hate you being with xinyi yet you still stay a close contact with her.. Have u feel how i feel..
I am a women..
Its really difficult to continue this relationship if we both continue staying like this..
I call u up u hang and refuse to pick up calls..
I sms u to solve the problem and in order to work in hand to solve our problems.. U refuse..
What can i do?
I dunno what u wan.. serious.. Its screwed..
In your next relationship i will wish u all the best at least that somebody is really whom can understand you..
Wish me luck too..
Letting you off will be the best choice no matter how deep i love you..
Your heart is dead isnt it?
God love you..
Love her more and love yourself more..
Sunday, 21 March 2010
{ 22:45 }
So wht are we now?
A stranger? A couple or a friend?
Not contacting or even approaching each other even we are online..
I am not going to.. Cos he say he dun1 to tok to me.. so i will respect and stay a distances out of it..
Maybe we are waiting for a silence break instead..
....
Wednesday, 17 March 2010
{ 21:16 }
Its countless of days after u leave..
It one and a half months now..
I miss u..
My tears fall whenever i think of ur name.
I will get thru it.. I believe..
Good luck all the best for ur show tomorrow..
Tuesday, 16 March 2010
{ 21:31 }
Am i really wrong?
Did i raise something up that are really wrong?
I dun trust him? 3 years and i don't trust him?
I believe in him thats why i ended up like this.. 3 years long, i never concern or mention anything about women around her.
Unlike other girls, i do not check his phone.. I do not do this or that..
Maybe that some of the reason that lead to insecure in this..
Am i wrong being a girlfriend by asking him that or questioning him that?
Maybe i am harsh as i admit i have a very low EQ..
But isn't straight to the point the better?
He find me irritating, waste of time for this relationship carrying for 3 yrs.
Ain't he is in wrong too?
He make me feel insecure, he rather let the believe stay in between us..
Etc Etc..
At a period of time, i find myself loaded with stress and i really need someone to talk to.
I am a person that cant manage stress.. u cant expect every1 to be same as u..
I am always happy whenever the night had reached. I am overwhelm to hear your voice.
I know u dislike me to nag or talk about my school work so i will jus shut up and hear u say.
Although, u given me a coldly tone, at least i am happy that u were safely home.
I miss the time where u and i together hand in hand walking and laughing.
I miss the time that u will kiss me goodbye everytime before u leave.
I miss those good nites or caring messages that u send me
But ask urself, how long have u nv do that do me?
I am badly hurt..
Where is the love?
After the day that u leave, i will shut up eyes and roll my tears before i get to sleep..
I do not know how many more time could i still say that to u;
i miss u, dear.
I am really not gaining sympathy or pity..
Pls believe that i am really no confidence in myself anymore.
Wednesday, 10 March 2010
{ 19:49 }
What is this feeling now?
It's like mixture of different feeling now..
I know there is a change between us
i knew it..
Are he expecting for a break up between us?
I dunno why, i dun bear to lose this r/s..
What is the point of keeping him when he dun even have the love again..
Am i stupid?
I love him, but i dun feel secure and confidence at all..
I am not beautiful not clever too..
But i always try to be the best girlfriend that he can like..
I always working very hard..
I always ask him, how much he loves me..
No matter how much, i jus into him..
From the very beginning, i always hoping to be his best listening hear and support..
Even he love me only 50, i will hope i can achieve 100..
Am i really silly?
He is giving up.. Isn't he?
Should i let go or should i hold on to it?
I am lost..
Monday, 8 March 2010
{ 20:14 }
I feel so much like dying..
I am dead this time.. Without body and without soul :(
First day of attachment can bring to lot of my conclusion..
My entire 3 months can forseen as horrible + terrible...
Nightmare.. :(
Today is my first day of work.. Not really nice to me...
The people there aren't friendly to me.. They seen cold and arrogant too..
My first tasks being assigned is to understand the document..
Yeah, i did, whats next?! Make a guess?
DEBUGGING!!!
OH MY holy!!
I really don't understand what they are talking about..
Seriously..
I was like sitting infront of the lappy and stare blindly..
HAH.. Thats horrible..
Yah, i noe i should approach if i dun understand..
The team there is really busy with their works..
Tired..
From Yio Chu Kang change to SIM..
What a nice one right?
Headarche now.. What time should i wake up again and which concession should i bought now?
Hmmm...
Pray harder for a better tomorrow..
Though, i noe i will be losing my 12 credits points.. still hang there bitch!
Jia You Candy!!! :))
Tuesday, 2 March 2010
{ 12:52 }
One month without blogging over here.
I just ended my exams yesterday.. But i only have less than a week to rest..
My IPP will start on the 8th next week.. A little nervous and afraid.. Still Jia You Candy Seah..
I think there's really no turning back for this friendship with her.. I am trying hard still the gap is still lies in between us..
Sad but i think i deserve it.
Relationship.. Make me tired..
Where is our trust?
Where is my trust to you?
Insecure, afraid and disappointed is what i feel from this relationship..
I am really trying very hard to be perfect in your eyes.. Then what about you?
How much i stands in your heart?
Is there at least a little space?
I really hope so..
Whenever, i need you, i assume u to be there..
I assume u will be the one standing by me to console me till the end..
Still, its my silly assumption to believe on that..
I am really tired to repeat the same old arguement with you..
I don't wish to release my hand..
What about you?
My love is true to you i swear, how about you?
3 years, without fail, i always hoping to be the one that can stand by your side if theres a need..
However, that is my assumption again..
Problems arise long ago, just that i never get to notice about..
I am still silly to believe and trust..
In fact i really hate it whenever you say you are busy..
Why do u only mention it to me?
Am i really that irritating and bring in disturbance in your life?
Or other reasons?
I cant stop myself to question me..
In the past, when i ask for a dinner with u, u will say i am busy no time for it.. nvm, its ok..
But i never get to know that u can have it with ur classmate..
Are they just simply ur classmate or other status?
Maybe i am wrong too..
Too many problems which kept to myself without saying ended up with such a big one..
The prob is will u listen even if i say?
I confess to him ystd..
I ask if he in love with other, he say no.. and he dun get what i mean...
He might find that i am paranoid..
But how to make a girl nt to be paranoid when her boyfriend don't even a time for her..
When i have problems in school.. I need your shoulder, ended up i get the scolding.. I know i was wrong by choosing going poly as my decision, but all i hope still at that moment is your concern and console..
Till this point, he still don't get my point and he think he was nt in wrong..
Disappointed over my silly assumptions and expectations..
Labels: 我舍不得放手
